Tomorrow was a Good Day

 

Tomorrow was a good day.

It started with a good night’s sleep. The night before, I made sure to wind down physically and mentally as bedtime approached. Instead of letting my mind wander, I talked to myself about the values I try to live by. It put my mind at ease and let me relax.

I woke up at about the same time as always, which is earlier than my mind and body would prefer. But I woke to a slightly different room. My clothes were waiting within reach. That moment was a nice change from the usual. I didn’t have to decide what to wear. It minimized the time I spent in the cold morning air. Waking up to a bit of care that I had given myself felt good.

Another thing that felt good was knowing that my schedule for the day was set. It was sketched out in my notebook, waiting on the kitchen table for me to review. That helped me avoid worry about what the day would bring. Its funny how much better my mental health is when I don’t have to decide what to do.

In the morning, I spent a little time with the other family members who were up. It wasn’t my usual, distracted way of spending time. Instead of thinking about my day’s purpose (or my life’s purpose) while with them, I let being with them be my purpose for a while. That made such a difference. I watched. I listened. I didn’t have long, so I made sure to pay attention.

It was my long teaching day, which is always a bit of a strain on me. I did a little better than usual. Instead of teaching as if it was a judged performance, I taught as if my students were friends who had specifically asked me to help them learn this stuff. That bit of imagination helped me to put the focus on them, instead of myself. They were tired. How could I wake them up just a bit? They were reluctant to speak up for fear of looking foolish. How could I make them feel a little more comfortable? It really isn’t about me. I know the material. I’ve put together a pretty good lesson that will help them if they try. But whether they try can’t be up to me. As long as I am respectful and competent, I’m doing my part and am free to feel good about it. Tomorrow, I felt good about it. Instead of feeling emotionally drained after my two classes, I felt ready for what was next. In the case of tomorrow, that was lunch.

I went upstairs to again be with the members of my family that were around. In fact, I made sure to find everyone and make sure to say hi or give them a hug. Here’s something new… As I walked through the house, I didn’t distress about the mess. I gave a little bit of thought to how to handle the things that were on my list to address that day. But I simply noted the rest and let it go. Spoiling the present with the concerns of the past or future is typically a problem for me. But that went well tomorrow. I also did a good job of not absorbing other people’s stress. I remember a time long ago when I used to stand out among my peers as someone who didn’t spend much time worrying. I saw the energy others wasted, not on doing something about the thing that worried them, but just worrying about it. It seemed so foolish. I sometimes helped people relax, both through example and by pointing out the obvious; They should either do something about their worry or forget about it until the right time to do something about it. Somewhere along life’s path, I lost that clarity of perspective I too often pick up on others’ stress and either share it or take responsibility for it. But tomorrow I did a good job acting like the me of old. I may have even helped others relax a bit.

I spent the rest of the day moving from one thing to the next, trying to give my attention to whatever I was doing. Don’t get me wrong, the internal voice was still there. At every turn, it tried to convince me that my attention should be somewhere else. It played up hypothetical dangers, and reminded me of my shortcomings and past failures. It tried to freeze me into nice, safe inaction. But I was able to quiet the voice by following my schedule and investing in the companionship of those around me. For the first time in a while, tomorrow I went to sleep thinking that the future might be OK.